
I wasn't one of those people lining up outside Best Buy at the end of 2006 to get a Nintendo Wii, but by the time I bought one a few months later, I still had to wake up early and reach my local Target just as it opened to assure I walked away with the popular videogame console. The Wii became a veritable money-printing machine for Nintendo, as well as for all the retailers who attempted (unsuccessfully) to keep them on their shelves.
And it's not hard to see why. For the last decade or so, videogames have been moving farther and farther away from their pick-up-and-play roots. They were being packaged with novel-length instruction books and consoles were stocking their controllers with more buttons than anyone could possibly keep track of. So when Nintendo unveiled their motion-controlled white box- featuring a remote with only two action buttons, just like in their NES heyday- it finally seemed like the revolution Nintendo had been talking about for years.
So what happened? How did the most anticipated videogame console in history die such a slow, disgraced death- and so soon? Well, lack of third party support certainly helped, but even Nintendo's first-party offerings weren't up to task. The new
Legend of Zelda was nice, but by-the-numbers to a fault. The new
Super Mario Bros. had the opposite problem, largely ignoring the white-knuckle platforming that made their name in favor of bizarre physics and overly-linear level structures.
The motion control was never used as effectively as it was for the
very first game released on the system (
Wii Sports), and the downloadable Wii Ware service offered a few genuine gems (
World of Goo,
Mega Man IX) but never became the expansive library it promised to be.
Personally, I haven't touched my Wii in ages, instead turning to the PlayStation 2 to scratch my gaming itch. So it was, then, that, on a whim, I picked up the recently released
New Play Control! Pikmin, a revamp of the GameCube hit specifically for the Wii. I was hoping
Pikmin would help me get back into the Wii; cleanse my guilty conscious for letting such a potentially amazing piece of hardware gather dust. Instead, it made me realize that, maybe, the Wii just isn't for me.
To be fair, I never played the original
Pikmin and didn't know anything about it when I came home with this new version. I was expecting a fun, quirky puzzle game in the vein of
Lemmings or
The Lost Vikings, and to some extent that's what I got. The player controls the titular creatures indirectly, by ordering them to follow your avatar or, more to the point, by throwing them wherever or at whatever you want them to work on. Like the previously mentioned games, there are different kinds of Pikmin with different abilities: Red Pikmin are immune to fire, the yellow can carry bombs, and the blue Pikmin can wade through water. In addition, you're required to "harvest" new Pikmin by having the already existing creatures bring supplies back to their home base, and the amount of time they spend in the ground determines their strength and agility when you literally pluck them up to join your team.
The reason you're growing these obedient little aliens is to help you find and piece together the scattered remains of your beloved spaceship, having crash landed on the Pikmin's planet following a meteor strike. On paper, it sounds pretty good, and sometimes it is, but
Pikmin frequently ends up frustrating rather than pleasing.
For one thing, the Pikmin's planet is over-run with oversized insects whose sole purpose in life is to give you a hard time. Some of them will take away the items your Pikmin are carrying, but others will just feast on your little alien friends until they're all gone, if you let them. The Pikmin can fight, but they can't fight very well, and it feels cruel to make them do it at all. Shoe-horning combat into what should have been a laid-back puzzle game isn't fair to the Pikmin and it sure isn't fair to the player, who is frequently interrupted from the main task because a ladybug had just eaten half of his workers.
Perhaps even more intruding is the appearance of a time-limit. The story claims the spaceman only has 30 days to reassemble his ship before the oxygen supplies run out, and he isn't allowed to work during the night. That means if the sun sets while your Pikmin are diligently working to bring back another piece of the ship, not only do they lose the ship, you lose your Pikmin as well.
Presumably, the timelimit was added to give the puzzles a sense of urgency and to make it more difficult to complete the entire game in one go, but it feels like a cop-out: completely inappropriate for what should be a relaxed, lazy puzzler. Relaxed and lazy, incidentally, are two words that simply can't be used to describe
Pikmin in any way. And that's probably the way it should be for most videogames, where the main characters are grizzled action heroes or legendary knight-errants. But in a game where the heroes are submissive, mute miniature aliens, you expect to have the time to experiment with their strengths and weaknesses without constantly being called back to the ship because the sky got dark.
The newly added motion controls work great. So much so, in fact, it's hard to imagine playing the game with just the GameCube control sticks after being able to simply point to the screen to command the Pikmin. But while the controls are intuitive, the game itself isn't. It never leads to that satisfying feeling of a particularly challenging puzzle completed like
Lemmings or
Lost Vikings offered in abundance. Instead, you're left with the feeling of disappointment when you're forced to start the mission over because you just lost the majority of your camp to a few gluttonous beetles again.
Ultimately, my plan to reinvigorate the Wii backfired in a big way. Instead of making me excited at the prospect of a new wave of Wii games, I've instead decided to put my Wii up on eBay, where they still bring in upwards of $250, the original retail value. I'd still like to think the Wii renaissance is just around the corner, but I'm simply too tired of waiting for it to come to see if I'm right.